話說濟公來到酒樓，找了一張桌坐下，夥計給擺上杯筷。老道就問：「夥計，你們這裡有素菜么，我吃素。」夥計說：「有。」和尚說：「我是吃葷。」夥計說：「葷素都有。」和尚說：「你先給道爺要一個炸麵片，我敬的。」老道一想：「我又不認的和尚，人家敬我菜，我也得回敬。」趕緊叫夥計：「給大師父要一個炸丸子，我敬的。」夥計答應。少時把菜給端來，和尚要了酒，又叫：「夥計，給老道要一個醋炒豆芽菜，我敬的。」老道又給和尚要一碗汆丸子，和尚又給老道要一個炒豆腐，老道又給和尚要一個爆羊肉。和尚給老道要了素白菜湯，老道又給和尚要了一個炒肉絲。兩個人換著吃。和尚就叫夥計過來。和尚說：「回頭道爺吃了多少錢，我給就是。」夥計說：「是了。」老道聽見。老道吃完了，就叫夥計算帳：「和尚吃多少錢我給。」和尚趕緊說：「道爺別讓了，我給。」老道說著話，就要解包袱，包袱裡有二百銀子，和尚說：「我給。」一把手把老道的包袱搶過來，和尚拿著下了樓。老道只當是和尚熱心腸，下樓到柜上去把錢給了，再把包袱拿回來。老道左等也不來，右等和尚也不來。叫夥計下樓瞧瞧，夥計回來說：「和尚早走了。」老道一想：「和尚是騙子，把我二百銀子也拐了去，也沒給飯錢。」還幸虧老道兜囊有散碎銀子，趕緊把飯錢給了，下了樓就追和尚。剛追到村口，一瞧，和尚正在村口地下，把包袱打開，瞧銀子的成色。和尚自言自語說：「這是高白，這塊是有成色。這塊太潮，不定好不好。」老道鄭玄修一瞧，說：「好，和尚，你拐了我的銀子，你還瞧成色。」過來按住和尚就打，和尚就數著：「一下了，兩下了。」老道打了和尚五拳，和尚說：「該我打你了。」一擰老道的拐子，把老道翻在底下，打了老道五拳，就往下一躺說：「該你打我了。」老道又打了和尚五拳。和尚一擰老道的拐子，又把老道翻下去。瞧熱鬧的人，也都不勸說。這兩人打架打不錯，一個人打五拳。那個說：「和尚公道，打老道五拳，和尚自己就躺下，叫老道打。老道不公道，非等和尚把他翻下去。」老道一聽說：「我還不公道，他吃了我一頓飯，把我二百銀子拐出來，我還不公道！」眾人正要勸解，沈妙亮、李妙清、褚道緣趕到。沈妙亮說：「和尚。我正然找你，你在這哪！我倒問問你，為什麼欺負我徒弟？」和尚說：「他自己找的，無故多管閒事。我告訴你，沈妙亮連你也不行。我和尚是謙讓著你。」沈妙亮說：「和尚你有多大來歷！」和尚說：「我有幾句話你聽聽：
话说济公来到酒楼，找了一张桌坐下，伙计给摆上杯筷。老道就问：「伙计，你们这里有素菜幺，我吃素。」伙计说：「有。」和尚说：「我是吃荤。」伙计说：「荤素都有。」和尚说：「你先给道爷要一个炸面片，我敬的。」老道一想：「我又不认的和尚，人家敬我菜，我也得回敬。」赶紧叫伙计：「给大师父要一个炸丸子，我敬的。」伙计答应。少时把菜给端来，和尚要了酒，又叫：「伙计，给老道要一个醋炒豆芽菜，我敬的。」老道又给和尚要一碗汆丸子，和尚又给老道要一个炒豆腐，老道又给和尚要一个爆羊肉。和尚给老道要了素白菜汤，老道又给和尚要了一个炒肉丝。两个人换着吃。和尚就叫伙计过来。和尚说：「回头道爷吃了多少钱，我给就是。」伙计说：「是了。」老道听见。老道吃完了，就叫伙计算帐：「和尚吃多少钱我给。」和尚赶紧说：「道爷别让了，我给。」老道说着话，就要解包袱，包袱里有二百银子，和尚说：「我给。」一把手把老道的包袱抢过来，和尚拿着下了楼。老道只当是和尚热心肠，下楼到柜上去把钱给了，再把包袱拿回来。老道左等也不来，右等和尚也不来。叫伙计下楼瞧瞧，伙计回来说：「和尚早走了。」老道一想：「和尚是骗子，把我二百银子也拐了去，也没给饭钱。」还幸亏老道兜囊有散碎银子，赶紧把饭钱给了，下了楼就追和尚。刚追到村口，一瞧，和尚正在村口地下，把包袱打开，瞧银子的成色。和尚自言自语说：「这是高白，这块是有成色。这块太潮，不定好不好。」老道郑玄修一瞧，说：「好，和尚，你拐了我的银子，你还瞧成色。」过来按住和尚就打，和尚就数着：「一下了，两下了。」老道打了和尚五拳，和尚说：「该我打你了。」一拧老道的拐子，把老道翻在底下，打了老道五拳，就往下一躺说：「该你打我了。」老道又打了和尚五拳。和尚一拧老道的拐子，又把老道翻下去。瞧热闹的人，也都不劝说。这两人打架打不错，一个人打五拳。那个说：「和尚公道，打老道五拳，和尚自己就躺下，叫老道打。老道不公道，非等和尚把他翻下去。」老道一听说：「我还不公道，他吃了我一顿饭，把我二百银子拐出来，我还不公道！」众人正要劝解，沈妙亮、李妙清、褚道缘赶到。沈妙亮说：「和尚。我正然找你，你在这哪！我倒问问你，为什么欺负我徒弟？」和尚说：「他自己找的，无故多管闲事。我告诉你，沈妙亮连你也不行。我和尚是谦让着你。」沈妙亮说：「和尚你有多大来历！」和尚说：「我有几句话你听听：
Now, Ji Gong came into the tavern, found a table and sat down, and the waiter set out a cup and chopsticks for him. “Waiter,” said the old Daoist, “do you have vegetarian dishes here? I don’t eat meat.” “We do,” said the waiter. “I eat meat,” said the monk. “We have meat and vegetarian both,” said the waiter. “First order the Daoist Master a plate of fried dough slices,” said the monk. “My treat.” The old Daoist thought, “I don’t even know this monk. If he treats me to a dish, I have to treat him back.” He quickly called the waiter: “Order the master here a plate of fried meatballs. My treat.” The waiter said he would. Soon the dishes were brought, and the monk called for wine. Then he called again, “Waiter, order the Daoist a plate of bean sprouts fried with vinegar. My treat.” The old Daoist ordered the monk a bowl of meatballs in broth; the monk ordered the old Daoist some fried bean curd; the old Daoist ordered the monk some quick-fried mutton. The monk ordered the old Daoist a plain cabbage soup, and the old Daoist ordered the monk a plate of shredded pork. The two of them ate, trading treat for treat. Then the monk called the waiter over. “In a while,” said the monk, “whatever the Daoist Master has eaten, I’ll pay for it.” “Very good,” said the waiter. The old Daoist heard this. When he had finished eating, he called the waiter to make up the bill: “Whatever the monk has eaten, I’ll pay.” “Don’t stand on ceremony, Daoist Master,” the monk said quickly. “I’ll pay.” As he spoke, the old Daoist went to untie his bundle. There were two hundred taels of silver in it. “I’ll pay,” said the monk, snatched the bundle out of the Daoist’s hands and carried it off downstairs. The old Daoist took it that the monk was just being warm-hearted and had gone down to the counter to settle up, and would bring the bundle back. The old Daoist waited and waited, and still the monk did not come. He sent the waiter downstairs to have a look, and the waiter came back and said, “The monk left long ago.” The old Daoist thought, “The monk is a swindler! He’s made off with my two hundred taels, and he hasn’t paid for the meal either.” Luckily the old Daoist had some odd bits of silver in his purse. He hurriedly paid for the meal, went downstairs and set off after the monk. He had only got as far as the edge of the village when he looked and saw the monk right there on the ground with the bundle open, examining the fineness of the silver. “This is top white,” the monk was muttering to himself. “This piece has good fineness. This one’s low-grade; can’t say if it’s any good.” The old Daoist, Zheng Xuanxiu, took one look and said, “Fine, monk! You make off with my silver, and then you sit here checking its fineness!” He came over, pinned the monk down and started hitting him, and the monk counted: “That’s one. That’s two.” When the old Daoist had punched the monk five times, the monk said, “My turn to hit you.” He twisted the Daoist’s elbow, flipped him underneath and punched him five times, then lay back down and said, “Your turn to hit me.” The old Daoist punched the monk five more times. The monk twisted the Daoist’s elbow and flipped him under again. The people watching the fun did not try to stop them either. The two of them were fighting a very orderly fight, five punches apiece. One of the onlookers said, “The monk plays fair. He punches the Daoist five times, then lies down on his own and lets the Daoist hit him. The Daoist doesn’t play fair. He won’t let up till the monk flips him over.” When the old Daoist heard this, he said, “I don’t play fair? He ate a meal on me and made off with my two hundred taels, and I’m the one who doesn’t play fair!” Just as the crowd was about to step in and make peace, Shen Miaoliang, Li Miaoqing and Chu Daoyuan came hurrying up. “Monk!” said Shen Miaoliang. “I’ve been looking for you, and here you are! Now let me ask you: why have you been bullying my disciple?” “He asked for it,” said the monk, “meddling in what was none of his business, for no reason at all. And let me tell you, Shen Miaoliang: even you are no match for me. This monk has been going easy on you.” “Monk,” said Shen Miaoliang, “just how grand is your background, then?” “I have a few lines for you,” said the monk. “Listen:
昔日英名四海聞，殺妻訪道入玄門。
昔日英名四海闻，杀妻访道入玄门。
Once your hero’s name was heard across the four seas;you killed your wife, sought the Way and entered the Mystic Gate.
涵陵賜汝分光劍，方入三清古道門。」
涵陵赐汝分光剑，方入三清古道门。」
Hanling bestowed on you the Light-Splitting Sword,and so you passed into the ancient gate of the Three Pure Ones.”