話說濟公禪師來到鄭雄家中，背著一個包袱，打開一看，是五身衣裳。有青布纓翎帽，青布靠衫，皮挺帶，薄底鸚腦窄腰快靴，連褲子腿帶襪子全有，整整五份。趙斌一看，說：「師父，這衣裳帽子是哪來的？」和尚說：「我偷來的。」
话说济公禅师来到郑雄家中，背着一个包袱，打开一看，是五身衣裳。有青布缨翎帽，青布靠衫，皮挺带，薄底鹦脑窄腰快靴，连裤子腿带袜子全有，整整五份。赵斌一看，说：「师父，这衣裳帽子是哪来的？」和尚说：「我偷来的。」
Now, Chan Master Ji Gong had come to Zheng Xiong’s house with a bundle on his back, and when it was opened, it held five suits of clothes: black cloth tasselled caps, close-fitting black cloth coats, leather belts, and thin-soled quick-boots, parrot-headed and narrow at the ankle. Even the trousers, the leg-bands and the socks were all there, five full sets. Zhao Bin looked at them. “Master, where did these clothes and caps come from?” “I stole them,” said the monk.
書中交代：還是真偷來的，這話不假。原來仁和縣有一位班頭，姓焦，在錢塘關外住，家裡就是一個妻子孫氏住著，獨院獨門，三間北房，一間茅樓。素常孫氏就不正經，常與人私通，焦頭出去辦案去了，仁和縣衙門中散役，都常到焦頭家裡去，跟孫氏不清楚。今天焦頭出去辦案不在家，他們湊了五個人到焦頭家裡去，孫氏一見，說：「眾位兄弟哥哥來了。」大眾說：「來了。」這個打酒，那個買菜，眾人喝起來了，亂說亂鬧亂玩笑。
书中交代：还是真偷来的，这话不假。原来仁和县有一位班头，姓焦，在钱塘关外住，家里就是一个妻子孙氏住着，独院独门，三间北房，一间茅楼。素常孙氏就不正经，常与人私通，焦头出去办案去了，仁和县衙门中散役，都常到焦头家里去，跟孙氏不清楚。今天焦头出去办案不在家，他们凑了五个人到焦头家里去，孙氏一见，说：「众位兄弟哥哥来了。」大众说：「来了。」这个打酒，那个买菜，众人喝起来了，乱说乱闹乱玩笑。
A word of explanation: they really had been stolen; that was no lie. It so happened that in Renhe County there was a head constable named Jiao, who lived outside the Qiantang Gate. At home there was only his wife, Madam Sun: a house with its own gate and its own yard, three rooms on the north side and a privy. Madam Sun had never been a decent woman and often carried on with other men. Whenever Head Constable Jiao went out on a case, the irregular runners of the Renhe County yamen were always dropping round at his house, and none of them was quite proper with Madam Sun. Today Head Constable Jiao was out on a case and not at home, so five of them got together and went round to his house. When Madam Sun saw them she said, “So my brothers have come!” “We’ve come,” said the lot of them. One went to buy wine, another to buy dishes, and they all set to drinking, talking nonsense, making a racket and fooling about.
喝完了酒，五個人說：「焦大嫂子，我們都不走了。今天焦大哥不回來，咱們湊一夜。」孫氏說：「不走就不走了，你們都住下吧。」這五個人都歡天喜地，也有點醉了，全把衣裳脫了，五個人赤身露體往炕上一躺。眾人剛躺下來，就聽外面叫門說：「開門來。」孫氏一聽，說：「可了不得了，我男人回來了。」這五個人嚇得三魂皆冒，說：「這可怎么辦？」孫氏說：「你們快藏到茅房去吧。」這五個人顧不得穿衣裳，都藏到茅房去。孫氏趕緊把五人的衣服帽子靴子褲子帶子揀到一處，用包袱包起來，那才出來開門。把門開開一瞧，並沒有人，孫氏心中納悶，找了半天真沒有，復返回來。到屋裡一瞧，五個人的衣服全丟了，就忙把五個人由茅房叫出來說：「我男人並沒回家，你們的衣裳可都丟了。」這五人一聽愣了，說：「怎么辦呀？」孫氏說：「你們快走罷，要等天亮這怎么走？」
喝完了酒，五个人说：「焦大嫂子，我们都不走了。今天焦大哥不回来，咱们凑一夜。」孙氏说：「不走就不走了，你们都住下吧。」这五个人都欢天喜地，也有点醉了，全把衣裳脱了，五个人赤身露体往炕上一躺。众人刚躺下来，就听外面叫门说：「开门来。」孙氏一听，说：「可了不得了，我男人回来了。」这五个人吓得三魂皆冒，说：「这可怎么办？」孙氏说：「你们快藏到茅房去吧。」这五个人顾不得穿衣裳，都藏到茅房去。孙氏赶紧把五人的衣服帽子靴子裤子带子拣到一处，用包袱包起来，那才出来开门。把门开开一瞧，并没有人，孙氏心中纳闷，找了半天真没有，复返回来。到屋里一瞧，五个人的衣服全丢了，就忙把五个人由茅房叫出来说：「我男人并没回家，你们的衣裳可都丢了。」这五人一听愣了，说：「怎么办呀？」孙氏说：「你们快走罢，要等天亮这怎么走？」
When the wine was finished, the five of them said, “Sister-in-Law Jiao, none of us is leaving. Brother Jiao won’t be back tonight, so let’s all make a night of it together.” “If you’re not leaving, then don’t,” said Madam Sun. “Stay the night, all of you.” The five of them were in high glee, and a bit drunk besides. They stripped off all their clothes, and all five lay down stark naked on the kang. They had only just lain down when they heard someone at the gate outside: “Open up!” Madam Sun heard it. “Heavens, this is bad — my husband’s back!” The five men were so frightened their three souls all but flew out of them. “What do we do now?” “Quick, hide in the privy,” said Madam Sun. With no time to get their clothes on, the five of them all hid in the privy. Madam Sun hurriedly gathered up the five men’s clothes, caps, boots, trousers and belts in one heap, wrapped them up in a bundle, and only then went out to open the gate. She opened it and looked: there was no one there. Puzzled, Madam Sun searched for a long while, and there truly was no one, so she came back in. She went into the room and looked: all five men’s clothes were gone. She quickly called the five of them out of the privy. “My husband hasn’t come home at all, but your clothes are all gone.” The five were struck dumb. “What are we going to do?” “Hurry up and go,” said Madam Sun. “If you wait till it’s light, how will you get away then?”