Counting the prior, five monks were chained in all, and the constables brought them to Chancellor Qin’s mansion and sent word inside. Chancellor Qin at once took his seat in the flower hall. Outside, seventy-odd household guards stood in attendance on either side. The men on duty came up and reported, “The abbot of Lingyin Temple has been brought.” “Bring the monks up,” Chancellor Qin ordered. The word was passed along on either side: “His Excellency orders the monks brought up!” The men on duty brought the five monks to just outside the hall curtain. The old abbot sat there, and the others all knelt. From inside, His Excellency could see them clearly through the curtain, but the monks could not see in. “Which of these monks is the mad monk?” His Excellency asked from inside. “Give me your names.” The monks below answered one by one. The old abbot said, “My name is Yuankong. I am the abbot of that temple.” One said, “I am Guangliang, the prior of that temple.” One said, “I am Deyao, the guest prefect of that temple.” One said, “I am Zongrui, the attendant of that temple.” One said, “I am Huiling, the refectory steward of that temple.” When Chancellor Qin heard this, he said, “So there is no mad monk among you? I sent men to arrest the mad monk, and he had the nerve to beat my stewards.” “If it please Your Lordship,” said Guangliang, “the mad monk of our temple, Crazy Ji, is the old abbot’s disciple. When the honourable stewards came, he worked some evil magic and beat them. We couldn’t stop him. We beg Your Lordship to show us special mercy. It had nothing to do with us.” Hearing this inside, Chancellor Qin ordered his household men to send word to the head runners of the prefecture and the counties to arrest the mad monk. Several head constables of Qiantang County searched the temple and came to where the Great Stele Tower was being pulled down. There they saw the mad monk pointing here and poking there, watching the Great Stele Tower come down. The tilers, carpenters and labourers had heard that there was a written order from Chancellor Qin’s mansion to pull down the Great Stele Tower and build the Getian Tower. How could they dare disobey? But there were some decent men among them. One of them thought: “Things aren’t easy for a monks’ temple. Who knows how much trouble it cost them, begging the alms to build this tower, and now it’s to be torn down in a single day. That’s no small sin. I won’t commit it. I’ll just scrape the tiles together with my iron spade. I’ll earn my two hundred cash all the same, and I needn’t go committing such a sin.” Just as he was thinking this, Ji Gong pointed at him from the side. The man slipped off the tower and fell, seven or eight zhang, to the ground. He landed on his feet and was not hurt at all. He thought to himself: “That was close! Lucky I wasn’t tearing the tower down. If I had been, I’d surely have been killed. There must be something behind this.” He got up and slipped away. And there was one who was really tearing it down, and he saw things his own way: “Once this is down, there’s the tower to build at Chancellor Qin’s mansion: two months’ work. When the tower at Chancellor Qin’s mansion is done, the temple will have to start building again: another two months’ work. That’s half a year’s work lined up.” He was busy tearing away when Ji Gong pointed, and the man fell from up top and landed sitting square on a three-cornered stone. It pierced his arse, and the fellow had to crawl home and lay off work for half a year. While Ji Gong was working the Buddha’s Law to pay back the tilers, carpenters and labourers, several head constables came over. With a clatter they shook out an iron chain and looped it round Ji Gong’s neck. “A fine monk you are! Look how much trouble you’ve stirred up, and here you are pointing and poking and enjoying the show!” The monk looked up: there were eight head constables, Zhao Da, Wang Er, Zhang San, Li Si, Sun Wu, Liu Liu, Geng Qi and Ma Ba. They dragged the monk off. “How big is this trouble I’ve stirred up?” said the monk. “Hard to show you,” said Head Constable Zhao. “Go to Chancellor Qin’s mansion and you’ll find out. You’re in for a treat.” “If you take me like this, I’m not going,” said the monk. “Are you going to make work for me?” said Head Constable Zhao. The monk plumped himself down on the ground and chanted, “Om mani padme hum! Om! By command — he!” Head Constable Zhao pulled with all his strength and could not budge him, so he called Wang Er over to help. Wang Er pulled with every ounce of strength he had and could not budge him either. “Don’t just stand there watching, you lot,” said Wang Er. “Everybody pull!” Zhang San, Li Si, Sun Wu, Liu Liu, Geng Qi and Ma Ba all came over and heaved together, but the monk sat there like Mount Tai. “This is really strange!” they said. Then someone behind them burst out laughing. Head Constable Zhao turned to look. It was two head constables of Renhe County, one surnamed Tian, named Tian Laibao, the other surnamed Wan, named Wan Hengshan. These two served in Renhe County, and under the present magistrate both held plum posts; they were sharp, capable men besides, and sworn brothers of Head Constable Zhao and the rest. Seeing Zhao and his men unable to drag the monk along, they could not help roaring with laughter. “All you lot are good for is eating,” they said. “When there’s nothing doing you sit around in the duty room shooting your mouths off, and today, when there’s real work, you’re all at a loss.” “Don’t you two talk so big just yet,” said Head Constable Zhao. “If you two can pull the monk up, then you’re the clever ones.” “If I can’t pull the monk up,” said Tian Laibao, “I’ll turn my name Tian upside down4.” “If I can’t pull the monk up,” said Wan Hengshan, “I’ll quit earning my rice behind the six-leaf doors5. Out of the way, you lot!” Zhao and the others stepped aside, and saw the two of them, Tian and Wan, press down their tasselled, plumed hats, straighten their clothes, tighten their leather belts, pull up their boots, hurry a few steps forward — and kneel down right in front of the monk. “Holy monk,” they said, “we’ve no quarrel with you, sir, and no grudge. It’s only because you crossed Chancellor Qin. Chancellor Qin sent His Honour our magistrate with us to invite you. Since you dared to cross him, you can dare to face him. If you won’t go, Chancellor Qin will be furious and impeach His Honour, His Honour will be disciplined, and he’s bound to dismiss us. If we lose our posts, our whole families, old and young, will go hungry. We beg you, sir, have great compassion on us.” The monk gave a cold laugh. “If you two had talked like that to begin with, this monk would have gone long ago. Head Tian, what’s your honoured surname?” Head Constable Tian couldn’t help laughing too. “You know my surname’s Tian, and still you ask me?” “Isn’t your name Laibao?” said the monk. “My name’s Laibao,” said Head Constable Tian. “Head Wan,” said the monk, “what’s your honoured surname?” “Master, don’t make fun of people,” said Wan Hengshan. “Have mercy, have mercy, and go along with them.” “All right, I’ll go,” said the monk. Only then did Tian Laibao say, “Head Zhao, this job wants a bit of careful handling. I’ve talked him round for you. Take him along.” Head Constable Zhao came over, and at last they led the monk out of Lingyin Temple. They went on two li. The Su Causeway by West Lake was lined with wine shops all along, and when the monk came to the door of one of them, he sat down on the ground and would not move. “Master, why have you stopped?” said Head Constable Zhao. “Do you want a rest?” “It’s not that I want a rest,” said the monk. “Let me ask you one thing. In your line of work the rule is: by the hills, live off the hills6; by the water, live off the water; you live off the emperor’s trees and the emperor’s tombs. If not much, then a little; if not big, then small — a friend has to see this monk right. You take me to Chancellor Qin’s mansion, and that counts as you’ve handled your case and done your job well, so you’ll have to spend a little money on this monk. Otherwise I won’t go along with you nice and peaceful.” Head Constable Zhao heard this and said to himself, “All my years on the job, and this is the first time I’ve seen a man on his way to stand trial ask the officer arresting him for money.” “Master,” said Head Constable Zhao, “you’re a man who has left the world. What do you want money for?” “I’ve got to drink,” said the monk. “When the craving for wine takes me, I can’t walk.” “Drinking’s fine,” said Head Constable Zhao. “Drink as much as you like, Master.” The monk ordered twenty pots of wine, and the wine shop brought them over. The monk tipped back his head and a whole pot went down at a gulp, and as he drank he said:

“Go easy on the wine, and your temper stays mild;leave the women be, and you’ll live long and whole.Take only honest money, and Heaven guards your way;swallow your anger, your house will thrive, and trouble takes no toll.”

In the blink of an eye the monk had finished the wine. Head Constable Zhao reached for his money: he had exactly enough for twenty pots, not a coin more and not a coin less. “Master,” said Head Constable Zhao, “if you’d drunk one pot more, I wouldn’t have had enough money. One pot less, and I’d have had some left over.” “Head Zhao,” said the monk, “when you got up this morning, wasn’t it your woman who put that money in your purse?” “It was,” said Head Constable Zhao. “That’s what this monk gave her last night,” said the monk. “Master, stop joking,” said Head Constable Zhao. “Let’s get going.”

This episode of the story8 is called “Drunk in Chancellor Qin’s Mansion.” Head Constable Wang led the monk on another two li or so. “Head Wang,” said the monk, “it’s time you handed me over too.” “Master, you’re being unreasonable,” said Head Constable Wang. “Head Zhao led you two li out of Lingyin Temple before you drank, and when you’d finished you went another two li. That’s four li in all before it came to me. I’d hardly taken you over, not half a step, before you had your drink. We’ve only just gone two li, and you want somebody else already!” “Head Zhao was twenty pots,” said the monk. “You were ten.” “I won’t argue with you,” said Head Constable Wang. “Head Zhang, you take him.” “Master,” said Head Constable Zhang, “if you want a drink, drink all you like. I’ve got a tab at the Zuixian Tower9 wine shop here. Drink as much as you can hold.” “Bring me thirty pots of wine,” said the monk. Zhang San secretly stuck out his tongue. “Master, how much do you drink in a day, sir?” “Oh, I don’t drink much,” said the monk. “Two catties10 when I get up in the morning, two catties with breakfast, two catties with supper, and once night falls and the first watch is struck, I stop.” “Then you go to sleep,” said Zhang San. “I jump into a wine vat and soak,” said the monk. “If I don’t soak, I can’t get my fill.” Head Constable Zhang’s thirty pots, he drank those too. But enough of that. Only when all eight head constables had had their turn did they come to the gate of Chancellor Qin’s mansion, and by then the chain was back in Head Constable Zhao’s hands. The monk was blind drunk. The men on duty at the gate kept hurrying them: “What sort of way is this to do your job? His Excellency wants the mad monk brought. Do you have to wait until he’s angry with you before you bring him?” “Coming, coming!” said Head Constable Zhao, and he led Ji Gong into Chancellor Qin’s mansion. The monk raised his head and looked: how grand and imposing Chancellor Qin’s mansion was! What did it look like? There is a poem to prove it:

Its pavilions are set with qilin, with jade for their treasures;before the halls stand screen gates of green, cut through with openwork.The archways rise so high and wide a jewelled carriage passes in;the galleries run deep and broad, where fine zithers are kept.Amid the brocades and embroideries, antiques gleam with lustre;among the heaps of pearls and gems, poems and rhapsodies are sorted.

Save only the Son of Heaven, honoured for ten thousand years, none stands higher than the chancellor of the day.