話說老管家出來開門一看，外面來者非是別人，正是雷鳴、陳亮。
话说老管家出来开门一看，外面来者非是别人，正是雷鸣、陈亮。
Now, the old steward went out and opened the gate, and the callers outside were none other than Lei Ming and Chen Liang.
書中交代：這兩個人打哪來呢？原本前者濟公在彌勒院，趕走了通天和尚法雷、赤發靈官邵華風一干群賊，和尚救了雷鳴、陳亮、飛天火祖秦元亮、立地瘟神馬兆熊四個人，告訴秦元亮也不必上靈隱寺去道謝，叫雷鳴、陳亮二人急速回家。和尚帶領何蘭慶、陶萬春走後，秦元亮同馬兆熊二人單走，雷鳴、陳亮這才回家。今天老管家一瞧少主人回來，心中甚為喜悅，說：「大爺回來了，甚好，家裡正在盼想，恨不能你一時回來，現在家裡出了塌天大禍！」雷鳴、陳亮聽這話一愣，說：「什麼事？」管家說：「二位大爺進來再說。」陳亮同雷鳴來到廳房，老管家先給倒過茶來，陳亮說：「有什麼事，你說說。」老管家說：「只因那一天老員外生日做壽，在村外搭戲台唱戲，有本村的泥腿皮老虎，瞧見姑娘長的好，皮緒昌叫管世寬來提親。老員外口快心直說不給，說皮緒昌根底不清。焉想到管世寬回去，今天又拿著一百銀子、兩匹彩緞、硬來下花紅彩禮。不管答應不答應，說是今天晚上轎子就來搶親。老員外同小人備了兩匹馬，去到丹陽縣告他，不想皮緒昌有人情，衙門的官人不問青紅皂白，把老員外押起來。大概是今天晚上要來搶人，我跑回來跟安人說，安人直哭，姑娘要尋死，大家正在束手無策，你回來甚好。」陳亮聽這話，氣得三屍神暴跳，五靈豪氣騰空，尚未答言，雷鳴把眼一瞪，說：「好囚囊的！」用手往桌上一拍，茶碗也碎了，嚇得老管家一哆嗦。雷鳴說：「好小輩，竟敢太歲頭上動土，老虎嘴邊拔鬚，找在你我兄弟的頭上。好好好，老三，你我去找他去，把這小子先殺了他的狗頭，你我出出氣！」陳亮說：「陳福，你到裡面告訴安人、姑娘，不必害怕，就提我回來了，我同雷二哥去找他去。」說著話，雷鳴、陳亮二人，由家中出來，一直來到皮緒昌的門首。雷鳴一聲喊嚷：「呔！皮緒昌，你趁此出來！無故我弟兄不在家，你竟敢欺負到我們頭上，你真是吃了熊心，喝了豹膽，太歲頭上動土，老虎嘴邊拔鬚，你錯翻了眼睛！你也不打聽打聽大太爺，我等是何人也。」陳亮也指著門口破口大罵。此時早有人報進去，皮緒昌剛由丹陽縣回來，正在書房同通天和尚法雷、賽雲龍黃慶、小喪門謝廣在一處談話。外面有手下人進來說：「員外可了不得了，門口有陳廣泰的侄兒陳亮，同著一個雷鳴，來堵著門口大罵，點名叫你老人家出去。」旁邊管世寬說：「員外這可糟了！這兩個人，可惹不起，聽說殺人不眨眼，這便如何是好？」皮緒昌一聽，嚇得顏色更變。法雷說：「這兩個人自不好惹，員外你別出去，我有主意。管世寬你附耳過來，如此如此，你快出去。」管世寬點頭答應，趕緊來到外面一看，雷鳴、陳亮正在罵不絕聲，管世寬笑嘻嘻的出來說：「二位大太爺先別罵。」雷鳴、陳亮說：「你快叫姓皮的出來見我們。」管世寬說：「我家員外沒在家，二位大叔先別生氣，聽我把話說明白了。」雷鳴、陳亮說：「你姓什麼？」管世寬說：「我姓管。咱們都是老街坊，論起來都不遠，陳大叔，你老人家別罵，這件事你別聽一面之詞，我們皮員外並沒叫人去提親，方才我們員外也聽見這件事了，這是有小人蠱惑是非，硬說我們員外要搶親。我們員外還要找個來人，是誰到你家裡去下花紅彩禮，找著這個人，不用你老人家不答應，我們員外也不能答應。這必是跟陳家皮家兩家有仇，給咱們兩家攏對，叫咱們兩家打起來他瞧熱鬧。二位大叔先請回去，我們員外此時實沒在家，聽說陳老員外在丹陽縣沒回來，我們員外去托人，把陳老員外請回來，要見陳老員外細細盤問盤問，這是誰做的事。二位大太爺先請回去聽信罷，我們員外回來必過去。」
书中交代：这两个人打哪来呢？原本前者济公在弥勒院，赶走了通天和尚法雷、赤发灵官邵华风一干群贼，和尚救了雷鸣、陈亮、飞天火祖秦元亮、立地瘟神马兆熊四个人，告诉秦元亮也不必上灵隐寺去道谢，叫雷鸣、陈亮二人急速回家。和尚带领何兰庆、陶万春走后，秦元亮同马兆熊二人单走，雷鸣、陈亮这才回家。今天老管家一瞧少主人回来，心中甚为喜悦，说：「大爷回来了，甚好，家里正在盼想，恨不能你一时回来，现在家里出了塌天大祸！」雷鸣、陈亮听这话一愣，说：「什么事？」管家说：「二位大爷进来再说。」陈亮同雷鸣来到厅房，老管家先给倒过茶来，陈亮说：「有什么事，你说说。」老管家说：「只因那一天老员外生日做寿，在村外搭戏台唱戏，有本村的泥腿皮老虎，瞧见姑娘长的好，皮绪昌叫管世宽来提亲。老员外口快心直说不给，说皮绪昌根底不清。焉想到管世宽回去，今天又拿着一百银子、两匹彩缎、硬来下花红彩礼。不管答应不答应，说是今天晚上轿子就来抢亲。老员外同小人备了两匹马，去到丹阳县告他，不想皮绪昌有人情，衙门的官人不问青红皂白，把老员外押起来。大概是今天晚上要来抢人，我跑回来跟安人说，安人直哭，姑娘要寻死，大家正在束手无策，你回来甚好。」陈亮听这话，气得三尸神暴跳，五灵豪气腾空，尚未答言，雷鸣把眼一瞪，说：「好囚囊的！」用手往桌上一拍，茶碗也碎了，吓得老管家一哆嗦。雷鸣说：「好小辈，竟敢太岁头上动土，老虎嘴边拔须，找在你我兄弟的头上。好好好，老三，你我去找他去，把这小子先杀了他的狗头，你我出出气！」陈亮说：「陈福，你到里面告诉安人、姑娘，不必害怕，就提我回来了，我同雷二哥去找他去。」说着话，雷鸣、陈亮二人，由家中出来，一直来到皮绪昌的门首。雷鸣一声喊嚷：「呔！皮绪昌，你趁此出来！无故我弟兄不在家，你竟敢欺负到我们头上，你真是吃了熊心，喝了豹胆，太岁头上动土，老虎嘴边拔须，你错翻了眼睛！你也不打听打听大太爷，我等是何人也。」陈亮也指着门口破口大骂。此时早有人报进去，皮绪昌刚由丹阳县回来，正在书房同通天和尚法雷、赛云龙黄庆、小丧门谢广在一处谈话。外面有手下人进来说：「员外可了不得了，门口有陈广泰的侄儿陈亮，同着一个雷鸣，来堵着门口大骂，点名叫你老人家出去。」旁边管世宽说：「员外这可糟了！这两个人，可惹不起，听说杀人不眨眼，这便如何是好？」皮绪昌一听，吓得颜色更变。法雷说：「这两个人自不好惹，员外你别出去，我有主意。管世宽你附耳过来，如此如此，你快出去。」管世宽点头答应，赶紧来到外面一看，雷鸣、陈亮正在骂不绝声，管世宽笑嘻嘻的出来说：「二位大太爷先别骂。」雷鸣、陈亮说：「你快叫姓皮的出来见我们。」管世宽说：「我家员外没在家，二位大叔先别生气，听我把话说明白了。」雷鸣、陈亮说：「你姓什么？」管世宽说：「我姓管。咱们都是老街坊，论起来都不远，陈大叔，你老人家别骂，这件事你别听一面之词，我们皮员外并没叫人去提亲，方才我们员外也听见这件事了，这是有小人蛊惑是非，硬说我们员外要抢亲。我们员外还要找个来人，是谁到你家里去下花红彩礼，找着这个人，不用你老人家不答应，我们员外也不能答应。这必是跟陈家皮家两家有仇，给咱们两家拢对，叫咱们两家打起来他瞧热闹。二位大叔先请回去，我们员外此时实没在家，听说陈老员外在丹阳县没回来，我们员外去托人，把陈老员外请回来，要见陈老员外细细盘问盘问，这是谁做的事。二位大太爷先请回去听信罢，我们员外回来必过去。」
A word of explanation: where had these two come from? Earlier, at Maitreya Temple, Ji Gong had driven off the monk Tongtian, Falei, Shao Huafeng the Red-Haired Divine Officer and their whole band of villains, and had rescued four men: Lei Ming, Chen Liang, Qin Yuanliang the Flying Fire Patriarch and Ma Zhaoxiong the Plague God on Earth. He told Qin Yuanliang there was no need to come to Lingyin Temple to thank him, and told Lei Ming and Chen Liang to hurry home. When the monk had left with He Lanqing and Tao Wanchun, Qin Yuanliang and Ma Zhaoxiong went their own way, and only then did Lei Ming and Chen Liang come home. Now, when the old steward saw his young master back, his heart leapt for joy. “You’re back, sir! Thank goodness. The whole house has been longing for you, wishing you could be here this very minute. A calamity big enough to bring down the sky has fallen on the family!” Lei Ming and Chen Liang were taken aback. “What’s happened?” “Come inside, both of you, and I’ll tell you,” said the steward. Chen Liang and Lei Ming went into the hall, and the old steward first poured them tea. “Whatever it is, tell us,” said Chen Liang. “It was like this,” said the old steward. “On the Old Squire’s birthday, when he put up a stage outside the village and had an opera performed, a village lout, Pi the Tiger, saw how pretty the young lady was, and Pi Xuchang sent Guan Shikuan to propose a match. The Old Squire speaks his mind and is straight as a die; he said no, and said Pi Xuchang’s roots weren’t clean. Who’d have thought it? Guan Shikuan went back, and today he came again with a hundred taels of silver and two bolts of coloured satin and forced the betrothal gifts on us. Agreed or not, he said, the sedan chair would come tonight to carry her off. The Old Squire and I saddled two horses and went to Danyang County to bring a charge against him, but Pi Xuchang had friends there, and the yamen runners, without asking right from wrong, locked the Old Squire up. I expect they’ll come tonight to take her. I ran back and told the mistress. The mistress can do nothing but cry, the young lady wants to kill herself, and nobody knows what to do. It’s a good thing you’ve come back.” When Chen Liang heard this, he was so furious that the Three Corpse Spirits leapt inside him and the heroic fire of his five spirits shot up to the sky. Before he could say a word, Lei Ming glared. “You jailbird bastard!” He slammed his hand down on the table so hard that a teacup broke, and the old steward jumped. “The little wretch!” said Lei Ming. “He dares dig the earth over the Grand Duke’s head and pluck the whiskers from a tiger’s mouth, and does it to us two brothers of all people! Fine, fine, fine. Third Brother, let’s go and find him. We’ll chop off the cur’s head first and let off some steam!” “Chen Fu,” said Chen Liang, “go in and tell the mistress and the young lady not to be afraid. Just say I’m back. Second Brother Lei and I are going to find him.” With that, Lei Ming and Chen Liang left the house and went straight to Pi Xuchang’s gate. Lei Ming gave a great shout: “Hey! Pi Xuchang, get out here now! We brothers were away from home, and for no reason at all you dared to trample on us. You must have eaten a bear’s heart and swallowed a leopard’s gall! Digging the earth over the Grand Duke’s head, plucking the whiskers from a tiger’s mouth, you’ve picked the wrong men! You never even bothered to ask around about your grand old masters and find out who we are!” Chen Liang too pointed at the gate and cursed at the top of his voice. Someone had already run in to report. Pi Xuchang had just come back from Danyang County and was in his study talking with the monk Tongtian, Falei, with Huang Qing the Cloud Dragon’s Better and with Xie Guang the Little Mourning Spirit. One of his men came in from outside. “Squire, this is terrible! Chen Guangtai’s nephew Chen Liang is at the gate with a man called Lei Ming. They’re blocking the gate and cursing, and calling you out by name, sir.” “Squire, now we’re in trouble!” said Guan Shikuan, who was at his side. “Those two are men nobody can afford to cross. They say they kill without blinking. What are we going to do?” Pi Xuchang went pale with fright. “Those two are certainly no one to tangle with,” said Falei. “Squire, don’t go out. I have a plan. Guan Shikuan, lend me your ear.” Thus and so he told him. “Now hurry out.” Guan Shikuan nodded, said he would, and hurried out. He saw Lei Ming and Chen Liang cursing without a pause, and came out all smiles. “Good sirs, please don’t curse just yet.” “Hurry up and tell the fellow called Pi to come out and face us,” said Lei Ming and Chen Liang. “The squire isn’t home,” said Guan Shikuan. “Don’t be angry yet, uncles. Let me make it all clear.” “What’s your name?” said Lei Ming and Chen Liang. “My name’s Guan,” said Guan Shikuan. “We’re all old neighbours here, practically family when you get down to it. Uncle Chen, please, don’t curse. Don’t go by a one-sided story. Our Squire Pi never sent anyone to propose a match. Our squire has only just heard about it himself. Some scoundrel has been stirring up trouble and insisting our squire means to carry off a bride. Our squire still wants to find out who it was that went to your house with the betrothal gifts. Once he finds the man, never mind you refusing, our squire won’t stand for it either. It must be somebody with a grudge against both the Chens and the Pis, setting our two families at each other so we’ll come to blows while he enjoys the show. Please go home for now, both of you. The squire truly isn’t home just now. I hear Old Squire Chen is still at Danyang County and hasn’t come back. Our squire will go and get someone to put in a word and have Old Squire Chen brought home, and he wants to see him and question him closely about who did this. Please go home for now, good sirs, and wait for news. When our squire comes back he’ll be sure to call on you.”
陳亮一聽這片語，說：「二哥，他這裡既不敢承認，你我可先回去，看我叔叔回來不回來再說。」雷鳴、陳亮這才回到家中、陳亮到裡面見了嬸母，把這話一學說，老太太見陳亮回來，心中也暢快些。當日晚間也並沒有轎子來抬人，陳廣泰也沒回來。陳亮同雷鳴在前面安歇，夜間小心防範，也並沒有動作。次日早晨起來淨面吃茶，陳亮正要打發人到丹陽縣打聽打聽，忽聽外面打門，陳亮同雷鳴出來開門一看，門口站著丹陽縣的兩位班頭，一位姓劉，一位姓杜，帶著八個夥計，一輛坐車。陳亮一看認識，說：「二位頭兒什麼事？」劉頭、杜頭說：「二位在家裡甚好，你們二位的事犯了，跟我們去打官司罷。咱們彼此都有個認識，在家門口給你們二位帶傢伙，算我們不懂交情。給你們二位留面子，你們二位上車罷。」雷鳴、陳亮聽這話一愣，說：「什麼事犯了？」劉頭說：「你們二位的事，還用問我們，紙里還包得了火？你們二位有什麼話，上車罷，到衙門說去罷。」雷鳴、陳亮也不知道什麼事，不能不去。當時叫管家給裡面安人送信，這兩個人上車，一同來到丹陽縣衙門下車。來到班房，劉頭、杜頭說：「二位屈尊點罷。」
陈亮一听这片语，说：「二哥，他这里既不敢承认，你我可先回去，看我叔叔回来不回来再说。」雷鸣、陈亮这才回到家中、陈亮到里面见了婶母，把这话一学说，老太太见陈亮回来，心中也畅快些。当日晚间也并没有轿子来抬人，陈广泰也没回来。陈亮同雷鸣在前面安歇，夜间小心防范，也并没有动作。次日早晨起来净面吃茶，陈亮正要打发人到丹阳县打听打听，忽听外面打门，陈亮同雷鸣出来开门一看，门口站着丹阳县的两位班头，一位姓刘，一位姓杜，带着八个伙计，一辆坐车。陈亮一看认识，说：「二位头儿什么事？」刘头、杜头说：「二位在家里甚好，你们二位的事犯了，跟我们去打官司罢。咱们彼此都有个认识，在家门口给你们二位带家伙，算我们不懂交情。给你们二位留面子，你们二位上车罢。」雷鸣、陈亮听这话一愣，说：「什么事犯了？」刘头说：「你们二位的事，还用问我们，纸里还包得了火？你们二位有什么话，上车罢，到衙门说去罢。」雷鸣、陈亮也不知道什么事，不能不去。当时叫管家给里面安人送信，这两个人上车，一同来到丹阳县衙门下车。来到班房，刘头、杜头说：「二位屈尊点罢。」
When Chen Liang heard this speech, he said, “Second Brother, since they don’t dare own up to it here, let’s go home for now and see whether my uncle comes back.” Only then did Lei Ming and Chen Liang go home. Chen Liang went inside to see his aunt and told her what had been said, and seeing Chen Liang back, the old lady felt somewhat easier. That evening no sedan chair came to carry anyone off, and Chen Guangtai did not come back either. Chen Liang and Lei Ming slept in the front of the house and kept careful watch through the night, but nothing stirred. The next morning they got up, washed their faces and had tea. Chen Liang was just about to send someone to Danyang County to find out what was happening when they heard a knocking at the gate. Chen Liang and Lei Ming went out and opened it. Outside stood two head constables from Danyang County, one named Liu and one named Du, with eight men and a passenger cart. Chen Liang knew them. “What brings you two here, chiefs?” he said. “Good, you’re both at home,” said Head Constable Liu and Head Constable Du. “Your case has come out. Come along with us and stand trial. We all know each other. If we put the irons on you two at your own front door, we’d be no friends at all. We’ll spare you the shame: get in the cart.” Lei Ming and Chen Liang were taken aback. “What case has come out?” “Your own doings, and you have to ask us?” said Head Constable Liu. “Can you wrap fire up in paper? Whatever you have to say, get in the cart and say it at the yamen.” Lei Ming and Chen Liang had no idea what it was about, but they could not refuse to go. They had the steward take word inside to the mistress, and the two of them got into the cart and rode with the constables to the Danyang county yamen, where they got down. When they reached the constables’ lockup, Head Constable Liu and Head Constable Du said, “You’ll have to put up with a little indignity, gentlemen.”