話說濟公拿碟子照這人一砍，這人真急了，要跟和尚動手。和尚往外就跑，這人隨後就追。夥計一瞧，這是活局。這兩個人吃完了，把碟子摔了，裝打架，成心不給錢。夥計隨後也追出來。後面就喊：「二位別走，給了酒錢。二十壺酒，二十碟餡餅。不給錢可不行。」和尚也不回頭，一直進了東門。這矮子隨後緊緊追趕說：「好和尚，無緣無故你拿碟子砍我，我焉能跟你干休！你上天，我趕到你靈霄殿。你入地，我趕到你水晶宮，好歹把你趕上。」和尚一邊往前跑一邊嚷：「了不得了，咱們兩人是一場官司！」和尚說著話，跑到十字街，正碰見楊國棟、尹士雄由正南而來。這兩個頭兒也是追和尚。直追到五里碑，也沒有追著。楊頭說：「咱們回去罷。」二人復返往回走。剛走到南門，地方官人一瞧說：「尹頭、楊頭，瞧見死屍沒有？」尹士雄說：「哪有死屍？」地方說：「在我段上死了個窮和尚。」尹士雄說：「在你的地面上，我們還沒走到十字街，怎么會瞧見呢？」地方說：「不是。這個死屍走了屍，跑出了南門。」尹士雄就問：「死的是什麼人？」地方就把抓天鷂鷹張福，過街老鼠李祿怎樣打死窮和尚，老爺驗了屍怎么派人看著，和尚走屍跑的話，從頭至尾一說。楊國棟一聽說：「了不得了，濟公被人打死了。」尹士雄說：「你們不知道，濟公神通廣大，死不了。咱們一同回去罷。」地方官人這才同尹士雄、楊國棟一同回來。剛走到十字街，見和尚由正東跑來。地方一瞧說：「死屍來了！」尹士雄、楊國棟趕緊就問：「師父怎么回事？」和尚說：「了不得了，我們兩人是一場官司，別叫追我的那矮子跑了。」
话说济公拿碟子照这人一砍，这人真急了，要跟和尚动手。和尚往外就跑，这人随后就追。伙计一瞧，这是活局。这两个人吃完了，把碟子摔了，装打架，成心不给钱。伙计随后也追出来。后面就喊：「二位别走，给了酒钱。二十壶酒，二十碟馅饼。不给钱可不行。」和尚也不回头，一直进了东门。这矮子随后紧紧追赶说：「好和尚，无缘无故你拿碟子砍我，我焉能跟你干休！你上天，我赶到你灵霄殿。你入地，我赶到你水晶宫，好歹把你赶上。」和尚一边往前跑一边嚷：「了不得了，咱们两人是一场官司！」和尚说着话，跑到十字街，正碰见杨国栋、尹士雄由正南而来。这两个头儿也是追和尚。直追到五里碑，也没有追着。杨头说：「咱们回去罢。」二人复返往回走。刚走到南门，地方官人一瞧说：「尹头、杨头，瞧见死尸没有？」尹士雄说：「哪有死尸？」地方说：「在我段上死了个穷和尚。」尹士雄说：「在你的地面上，我们还没走到十字街，怎么会瞧见呢？」地方说：「不是。这个死尸走了尸，跑出了南门。」尹士雄就问：「死的是什么人？」地方就把抓天鹞鹰张福，过街老鼠李禄怎样打死穷和尚，老爷验了尸怎么派人看着，和尚走尸跑的话，从头至尾一说。杨国栋一听说：「了不得了，济公被人打死了。」尹士雄说：「你们不知道，济公神通广大，死不了。咱们一同回去罢。」地方官人这才同尹士雄、杨国栋一同回来。刚走到十字街，见和尚由正东跑来。地方一瞧说：「死尸来了！」尹士雄、杨国栋赶紧就问：「师父怎么回事？」和尚说：「了不得了，我们两人是一场官司，别叫追我的那矮子跑了。」
Now, when Ji Gong slashed at the man with the plates, the man really lost his temper and went for the monk. The monk ran for the door, and the man ran after him. The waiter took one look. “It’s a put-up job,” he thought. “The two of them have eaten their fill, smashed the plates and staged a fight, just so as not to pay.” The waiter came running out after them too, shouting from behind: “You two, don’t go! Pay for your wine! Twenty pots of wine and twenty plates of stuffed pancakes. You can’t just not pay!” The monk didn’t look back, but went straight in through the East Gate. The short man chased hard on his heels. “Damn you, monk!” he said. “You slashed at me with those plates for no reason at all. Do you think I’ll let it go? If you go up to heaven, I’ll chase you to the Hall of Divine Mists. If you go down into the earth, I’ll chase you to the Crystal Palace. One way or another, I’ll catch you!” As he ran, the monk kept yelling: “This is terrible! The two of us are a case for the court!” Still yelling, the monk ran as far as Shizi Street, and there he bumped straight into Yang Guodong and Yin Shixiong coming up from the south. These two head constables had been chasing the monk too. They had chased him all the way to Wulibei without catching him. “Let’s go back,” Head Constable Yang had said, and the two of them had turned round and started back. They had just reached the South Gate when the warden and the runners saw them. “Head Constable Yin, Head Constable Yang,” they said, “did you see the corpse?” “What corpse?” said Yin Shixiong. “A poor monk died on my beat,” said the warden. “On your patch?” said Yin Shixiong. “We haven’t even got as far as Shizi Street. How would we have seen it?” “No, no,” said the warden. “The corpse got up and walked. It ran out through the South Gate.” “Who was the dead man?” asked Yin Shixiong. So the warden told them the whole story from beginning to end: how the Sky-Snatching Hawk Zhang Fu and the Rat Crossing the Street Li Lu had beaten a poor monk to death, how His Honour had held the inquest and had men set to watch the body, and how the monk’s corpse had got up and run away. When Yang Guodong heard this, he said, “This is terrible! Ji Gong has been beaten to death.” “You don’t understand,” said Yin Shixiong. “Ji Gong’s powers are boundless. He can’t die. Let’s all go back together.” So the warden and the runners came back with Yin Shixiong and Yang Guodong. They had just reached Shizi Street when they saw the monk come running from the east. The warden looked. “Here comes the corpse!” he said. Yin Shixiong and Yang Guodong hurried to ask, “Master, what’s going on?” “This is terrible,” said the monk. “The two of us are a case for the court. Don’t let that short fellow chasing me get away.”
尹士雄、楊國棟過去，就把那矮子截住。尹士雄說：「朋友別走了。你跟和尚打一場官司罷。」那人說：「好。我們是得打官司。」尹士雄過去，「嘩啦」一抖鐵鏈，就把這矮子鎖住。這矮子說道：「和尚打官司，也不能鎖我。」尹士雄說：「我們老爺有吩咐，在家人要跟出家人打官司，先鎖在家人，不鎖和尚。你走罷。」拉著這人剛要走，後面酒店夥計趕到說：「別走。」楊國棟一瞧認識。說：「劉夥計什麼事？」夥計說：「這位吃了十碟餡餅、十壺酒。和尚吃了十碟餡餅、十壺酒。兩人一打架，把二十碟都給摔了，酒錢也沒給，兩個人就跑出來了。」楊國棟說：「夥計你且回去罷。寫我的帳，該多少錢我給。」夥計一聽，說：「既是楊大爺這么說，我就回去了。」夥計轉身走了。和尚說：「咱們上衙門去打官司去。」地方官人過來說：「楊頭，你替我回回老爺罷，大師父又活了。我就不上衙門去了。」楊頭說：「就是罷。」尹士雄拉著這個矮子，大眾往北走。走了不遠，路西酒鋪內孫掌柜跑出來說：「楊大爺你煩惱了。」楊頭一愣，說：「我什麼事煩惱？」孫掌柜說：「不是楊大奶奶死了么？」楊頭說：「這話是誰說的？」孫掌柜用手一指，說：「就是這位大師父給送的信。」楊頭說：「師父怎給我報喪來著？」和尚說：「我跟他鬧著玩。因他給人家寫花帳。」孫掌柜一聽說：「好和尚，你無故誆我，我把禮物都買了，還沒送去。你就賠我！」楊頭說：「得了，孫賢弟你今受點委屈罷。這位和尚也不是外人，瞧著我罷。」尹士雄說：「師父你怎么說人家死了，本來已經病著。」和尚說：「一咒十年旺，就死不了啦。」楊國棟說：「師父慈悲慈悲，給我一塊藥。」和尚點頭，掏了一塊藥，給了楊國棟。這矮子就問：「這個和尚，是哪廟裡的？」尹士雄說：「你要問和尚？我告訴你，跟和尚打官司，算你露了臉，增了光。這是靈隱寺濟顛和尚。」這矮子一聽，呵了一聲說：「他是濟顛哪！官司我不打了。」說著話，冷不防一抖鐵鏈，擰身躥上房去。和尚說：「別叫他走了，龍游縣這兩條命案，都在他一人身上。」
尹士雄、杨国栋过去，就把那矮子截住。尹士雄说：「朋友别走了。你跟和尚打一场官司罢。」那人说：「好。我们是得打官司。」尹士雄过去，「哗啦」一抖铁链，就把这矮子锁住。这矮子说道：「和尚打官司，也不能锁我。」尹士雄说：「我们老爷有吩咐，在家人要跟出家人打官司，先锁在家人，不锁和尚。你走罢。」拉着这人刚要走，后面酒店伙计赶到说：「别走。」杨国栋一瞧认识。说：「刘伙计什么事？」伙计说：「这位吃了十碟馅饼、十壶酒。和尚吃了十碟馅饼、十壶酒。两人一打架，把二十碟都给摔了，酒钱也没给，两个人就跑出来了。」杨国栋说：「伙计你且回去罢。写我的帐，该多少钱我给。」伙计一听，说：「既是杨大爷这么说，我就回去了。」伙计转身走了。和尚说：「咱们上衙门去打官司去。」地方官人过来说：「杨头，你替我回回老爷罢，大师父又活了。我就不上衙门去了。」杨头说：「就是罢。」尹士雄拉着这个矮子，大众往北走。走了不远，路西酒铺内孙掌柜跑出来说：「杨大爷你烦恼了。」杨头一愣，说：「我什么事烦恼？」孙掌柜说：「不是杨大奶奶死了幺？」杨头说：「这话是谁说的？」孙掌柜用手一指，说：「就是这位大师父给送的信。」杨头说：「师父怎给我报丧来着？」和尚说：「我跟他闹着玩。因他给人家写花帐。」孙掌柜一听说：「好和尚，你无故诓我，我把礼物都买了，还没送去。你就赔我！」杨头说：「得了，孙贤弟你今受点委屈罢。这位和尚也不是外人，瞧着我罢。」尹士雄说：「师父你怎么说人家死了，本来已经病着。」和尚说：「一咒十年旺，就死不了啦。」杨国栋说：「师父慈悲慈悲，给我一块药。」和尚点头，掏了一块药，给了杨国栋。这矮子就问：「这个和尚，是哪庙里的？」尹士雄说：「你要问和尚？我告诉你，跟和尚打官司，算你露了脸，增了光。这是灵隐寺济颠和尚。」这矮子一听，呵了一声说：「他是济颠哪！官司我不打了。」说着话，冷不防一抖铁链，拧身蹿上房去。和尚说：「别叫他走了，龙游县这两条命案，都在他一人身上。」
Yin Shixiong and Yang Guodong went over and cut the short man off. “Friend, you’re not going anywhere,” said Yin Shixiong. “You’d better stand trial with the monk.” “Fine,” said the man. “We do have to stand trial.” Yin Shixiong stepped up, shook out his iron chain with a clatter and locked it round the short man. “If I’m standing trial with the monk,” said the short man, “you can’t chain me.” “His Honour has given orders,” said Yin Shixiong. “When a layman stands trial against a man who has left home, chain the layman first, not the monk. Get moving.” He was just leading the man away when the waiter from the wine shop caught up behind them. “Don’t go!” Yang Guodong looked and knew him. “Clerk Liu, what is it?” “This gentleman ate ten plates of stuffed pancakes and drank ten pots of wine,” said the waiter. “The monk ate ten plates of stuffed pancakes and drank ten pots of wine. Then the two of them got into a fight, smashed all twenty plates, didn’t pay for the wine, and the pair of them ran out.” “You go on back, Clerk,” said Yang Guodong. “Put it on my account. Whatever it comes to, I’ll pay.” “Since Master Yang says so,” said the waiter, “I’ll go back.” He turned and went. “Let’s go to the yamen and stand trial,” said the monk. The warden and the runners came over. “Head Constable Yang,” said the warden, “would you report to His Honour for me? The reverend has come back to life. I won’t go to the yamen myself.” “All right,” said Head Constable Yang. Yin Shixiong led the short man along, and they all went north together. They hadn’t gone far when the proprietor, surnamed Sun, came running out of a wine shop on the west side of the road. “Master Yang, my condolences.” Head Constable Yang was taken aback. “Condolences for what?” “Hasn’t Mrs. Yang died?” said the proprietor. “Who told you that?” said Head Constable Yang. The proprietor pointed. “This reverend here brought me the news.” “Master,” said Head Constable Yang, “how could you go announcing my wife’s death?” “I was having a bit of fun with him,” said the monk. “Because he pads people’s bills.” When the proprietor heard this, he said, “Damn you, monk, tricking me for nothing! I’ve already bought the funeral gifts and haven’t even sent them yet. You can pay me for them!” “Come on now, Brother Sun,” said Head Constable Yang, “just put up with it this once. This monk is no stranger. Do it for my sake.” “Master,” said Yin Shixiong, “how could you say someone’s wife had died, when she’s already ill as it is?” “Curse someone and they’ll thrive for ten years,” said the monk. “Now she won’t die.” “Master, have pity,” said Yang Guodong. “Give me one of your pills.” The monk nodded, took out a pill and gave it to Yang Guodong. The short man asked, “This monk, what temple is he from?” “You want to know about the monk?” said Yin Shixiong. “I’ll tell you. Standing trial against this monk does you honour — you’ll shine. This is Crazy Ji of Lingyin Temple.” When the short man heard this, he let out an “Oh!” “He’s Crazy Ji? I’m not standing trial after all!” And as he spoke he caught them off guard, shook the chain loose, twisted round and leapt up onto a roof. “Don’t let him get away!” said the monk. “Both those murder cases in Longyou County are on his head.”