王太常，越人。總角時，晝臥榻上。忽陰晦，巨霆暴作。一物大於貓，來伏身下，展轉不離。移時晴霽，物即逕出。視之，非貓，始怖，隔房呼兄。兄聞喜曰：「弟必大貴，此狐來避雷霆劫也。」後果少年登進士，以縣令入為侍御。生一子名元豐，絕癡，十六歲不能知牝牡，因而鄉黨無與為婚。王憂之。適有婦人率少女登門，自請為婦。視其女，嫣然展笑，真仙品也。喜問姓名。自言：「虞氏。女小翠，年二八矣。」與議聘金。曰：「是從我糠覈不得飽，一旦置身廣廈，役婢僕，厭膏粱，彼意適，我願慰矣，豈賣菜也而索直乎！」夫人大悅，優厚之。婦即命女拜王及夫人，囑曰：「此爾翁姑，奉侍宜謹。我大忙，且去，三數日當復來。」王命僕馬送之，婦言：「里巷不遠，無煩多事。」遂出門去。小翠殊不悲戀，便即奩中翻取花樣。夫人亦愛樂之。數日，婦不至。以居里問女，女亦憨然不能言其道路。遂治別院，使夫婦成禮。諸戚聞拾得貧家兒作新婦，共笑姍之；見女皆驚，群議始息。女又甚慧，能窺翁姑喜怒。王公夫婦，寵惜過於常情，然惕惕焉惟恐其憎子癡；而女殊歡笑，不為嫌。第善謔，刺布作圓，蹋蹴為笑。著小皮靴，蹴去數十步，給公子奔拾之；公子及婢恆流汗相屬。
王太常，越人。总角时，昼卧榻上。忽阴晦，巨霆暴作。一物大于猫，来伏身下，展转不离。移时晴霁，物即径出。视之，非猫，始怖，隔房呼兄。兄闻喜曰：「弟必大贵，此狐来避雷霆劫也。」后果少年登进士，以县令入为侍御。生一子名元丰，绝痴，十六岁不能知牝牡，因而乡党无与为婚。王忧之。适有妇人率少女登门，自请为妇。视其女，嫣然展笑，真仙品也。喜问姓名。自言：「虞氏。女小翠，年二八矣。」与议聘金。曰：「是从我糠核不得饱，一旦置身广厦，役婢仆，厌膏粱，彼意适，我愿慰矣，岂卖菜也而索直乎！」夫人大悦，优厚之。妇即命女拜王及夫人，嘱曰：「此尔翁姑，奉侍宜谨。我大忙，且去，三数日当复来。」王命仆马送之，妇言：「里巷不远，无烦多事。」遂出门去。小翠殊不悲恋，便即奁中翻取花样。夫人亦爱乐之。数日，妇不至。以居里问女，女亦憨然不能言其道路。遂治别院，使夫妇成礼。诸戚闻拾得贫家儿作新妇，共笑姗之；见女皆惊，群议始息。女又甚慧，能窥翁姑喜怒。王公夫妇，宠惜过于常情，然惕惕焉惟恐其憎子痴；而女殊欢笑，不为嫌。第善谑，刺布作圆，蹋蹴为笑。着小皮靴，蹴去数十步，给公子奔拾之；公子及婢恒流汗相属。
Wang the Chamberlain of Sacrifices was a man of Yue. When he was a small boy, he was napping on his bed one day when the sky suddenly went dark and a great clap of thunder broke. A creature bigger than a cat came and crouched underneath him, twisting and turning but never leaving him. After a while the sky cleared, and the creature went straight out. Seeing that it was not a cat, he took fright for the first time and called to his elder brother in the next room. When his brother heard, he was delighted. “You are sure to rise high,” he said. “That was a fox, come to hide from the trial of thunder.” And indeed, while still a young man Wang passed the jinshi examination, and from a county magistracy he was called to the capital as a censor. He had one son, named Yuanfeng, who was a complete simpleton: at sixteen he could not tell male from female, and so no one in the district would marry a daughter to him. Wang was worried about it. Then a woman came to the gate leading a young girl, and offered her as a bride. They looked at the girl: she smiled sweetly, a creature truly fit for the immortals. Delighted, they asked her name. “Our family is Yu,” said the woman. “The girl is Xiaocui. She is sixteen.” They began to discuss the betrothal money. “With me she never even had her fill of husks and bran,” said the woman. “Once she is set in a great house, with maids and servants to order about and fine food till she tires of it — if she is content, then my wish is satisfied. Am I selling vegetables, that I should ask a price?” Lady Wang was very pleased, and treated her generously. The woman at once told the girl to bow to Wang and his lady. “These are your father-in-law and mother-in-law,” she told her. “Serve them dutifully. I am very busy, so I’ll be off now. I’ll come back in three or four days.” Wang ordered servants and horses to see her home, but she said, “Our lane is not far. No need to go to such trouble.” And she went out of the gate. Xiaocui showed no grief at all, and no sign of missing her, but straight away began rummaging in the dressing case for embroidery patterns. Lady Wang grew very fond of her too. Several days passed and the woman did not come. They asked the girl where she lived, but she only looked blank and could not tell them the way. So they made ready a separate courtyard, and the young couple were married. When the relatives heard that the Wangs had picked up a girl from a poor family as a bride, they all laughed and sneered; but when they saw her, they were amazed, and the talk died down. The girl was very clever, too, and could read the moods of her parents-in-law. Lord Wang and his lady doted on her beyond all ordinary measure, yet they were always anxious that she would despise their son for a simpleton. But the girl laughed and played with him and showed no dislike. Only she was full of pranks. She stitched cloth into a ball and kicked it about for fun. In little leather boots she would kick it dozens of paces away for the young master to run and fetch, and the young master and the maids were forever chasing after it one behind another, dripping with sweat.
一日，王偶過，圓然來，直中面目。女與婢俱斂跡去，公子猶踴躍奔逐之。王怒，投之以石，始伏而啼。王以告夫人；夫人往責女，女俛首微笑，以手刓床。既退，憨跳如故，以脂粉塗公子作花面如鬼。夫人見之，怒甚，呼女詬罵。女倚几弄帶，不懼，亦不言。夫人無奈之，因杖其子。元豐大號，女始色變，屈膝乞宥。夫人怒頓解，釋杖去。女笑拉公子入室，代撲衣上塵，拭眼淚，摩挲杖痕，餌以棗栗。公子乃收涕以忻。女闔庭戶，復裝公子作霸王，作沙漠人；己乃豔服，束細腰，婆娑作帳下舞；或髻插雉尾，撥琵琶，丁丁縷縷然，喧笑一室，日以為常。王公以子癡，不忍過責婦；即微聞焉，亦若置之。同巷有王給諫者，相隔十餘戶，然素不相能；時值三年大計吏，忌公握河南道篆，思中傷之。公知其謀，憂慮無所為計。一夕，早寢，女冠帶，飾冢宰狀，翦素絲作濃髭，又以青衣飾兩婢為虞候，竊跨廄馬而出，戲云：「將謁王先生。」馳至給諫之門，即又鞭撾從人，大言曰：「我謁侍御王，寧謁給諫王耶！」回轡而歸。比至家門，門者誤以為真，奔白王公。公急起承迎，方知為子婦之戲。怒甚，謂夫人曰：「人方蹈我之瑕，反以閨閣之醜登門而告之，餘禍不遠矣！」夫人怒，奔女室，詬讓之。女惟憨笑，並不一置詞。撻之，不忍；出之，則無家：夫妻懊怨，終夜不寢。時冢宰某公赫甚，其儀采服從，與女偽裝無少殊別，王給諫亦誤為真。屢偵公門，中夜而客未出，疑冢宰與公有陰謀。次日早朝，見而問曰：「夜相公至君家耶？」公疑其相譏，慙顏唯唯，不甚響答。給諫愈疑，謀遂寢，由此益交懽公。公探知其情，竊喜，而陰囑夫人，勸女改行；女笑應之。逾歲，首相免，適有以私函致公者，誤投給諫。給諫大喜，先託善公者往假萬金，公拒之。給諫自詣公所。公覓巾袍，並不可得；給諫伺候久，怒公慢，憤將行。忽見公子袞衣旒冕，有女子自門內推之以出。大駭；已而笑撫之，脫其服冕而去。公急出，則客去遠。聞其故，驚顏如土，大哭曰：「此禍水也！指日赤吾族矣！」與夫人操杖往。女已知之，闔扉任其詬厲。公怒，斧其門。女在內含笑而告之曰：「翁無煩怒！有新婦在，刀鋸斧鉞，婦自受之，必不令貽害雙親。翁若此，是欲殺婦以滅口耶？」公乃止。給諫歸，果抗疏揭王不軌，袞冕作據。上驚驗之，其旒冕乃粱黠心所製，袍則敗布黃袱也。上怒其誣。又召元豐至，見其憨狀可掬，笑曰：「此可以作天子耶？」乃下之法司。給諫又訟公家有妖人，法司嚴詰臧獲，並言無他，惟顛婦癡兒，日事戲笑；鄰里亦無異詞。案乃定，以給諫充雲南軍。王由是奇女。又以母久不至，意其非人。使夫人探詰之，女但笑不言。再復窮問，則掩口曰：「兒玉皇女，母不知耶？」無何，公擢京卿。五十餘，每患無孫。女居三年，夜夜與公子異寢，似未嘗有所私。夫人舁榻去，囑公子與婦同寢。過數日，公子告母曰：「借榻去，悍不還！小翠夜夜以足股加腹上，喘氣不得；又慣掐人股裏。」婢嫗無不粲然。夫人呵拍令去。
一日，王偶过，圆然来，直中面目。女与婢俱敛迹去，公子犹踊跃奔逐之。王怒，投之以石，始伏而啼。王以告夫人；夫人往责女，女俛首微笑，以手刓床。既退，憨跳如故，以脂粉涂公子作花面如鬼。夫人见之，怒甚，呼女诟骂。女倚几弄带，不惧，亦不言。夫人无奈之，因杖其子。元丰大号，女始色变，屈膝乞宥。夫人怒顿解，释杖去。女笑拉公子入室，代扑衣上尘，拭眼泪，摩挲杖痕，饵以枣栗。公子乃收涕以忻。女阖庭户，复装公子作霸王，作沙漠人；己乃艳服，束细腰，婆娑作帐下舞；或髻插雉尾，拨琵琶，丁丁缕缕然，喧笑一室，日以为常。王公以子痴，不忍过责妇；即微闻焉，亦若置之。同巷有王给谏者，相隔十余户，然素不相能；时值三年大计吏，忌公握河南道篆，思中伤之。公知其谋，忧虑无所为计。一夕，早寝，女冠带，饰冢宰状，翦素丝作浓髭，又以青衣饰两婢为虞候，窃跨厩马而出，戏云：「将谒王先生。」驰至给谏之门，即又鞭挝从人，大言曰：「我谒侍御王，宁谒给谏王耶！」回辔而归。比至家门，门者误以为真，奔白王公。公急起承迎，方知为子妇之戏。怒甚，谓夫人曰：「人方蹈我之瑕，反以闺阁之丑登门而告之，余祸不远矣！」夫人怒，奔女室，诟让之。女惟憨笑，并不一置词。挞之，不忍；出之，则无家：夫妻懊怨，终夜不寝。时冢宰某公赫甚，其仪采服从，与女伪装无少殊别，王给谏亦误为真。屡侦公门，中夜而客未出，疑冢宰与公有阴谋。次日早朝，见而问曰：「夜相公至君家耶？」公疑其相讥，慙颜唯唯，不甚响答。给谏愈疑，谋遂寝，由此益交懽公。公探知其情，窃喜，而阴嘱夫人，劝女改行；女笑应之。逾岁，首相免，适有以私函致公者，误投给谏。给谏大喜，先托善公者往假万金，公拒之。给谏自诣公所。公觅巾袍，并不可得；给谏伺候久，怒公慢，愤将行。忽见公子衮衣旒冕，有女子自门内推之以出。大骇；已而笑抚之，脱其服冕而去。公急出，则客去远。闻其故，惊颜如土，大哭曰：「此祸水也！指日赤吾族矣！」与夫人操杖往。女已知之，阖扉任其诟厉。公怒，斧其门。女在内含笑而告之曰：「翁无烦怒！有新妇在，刀锯斧钺，妇自受之，必不令贻害双亲。翁若此，是欲杀妇以灭口耶？」公乃止。给谏归，果抗疏揭王不轨，衮冕作据。上惊验之，其旒冕乃粱黠心所制，袍则败布黄袱也。上怒其诬。又召元丰至，见其憨状可掬，笑曰：「此可以作天子耶？」乃下之法司。给谏又讼公家有妖人，法司严诘臧获，并言无他，惟颠妇痴儿，日事戏笑；邻里亦无异词。案乃定，以给谏充云南军。王由是奇女。又以母久不至，意其非人。使夫人探诘之，女但笑不言。再复穷问，则掩口曰：「儿玉皇女，母不知耶？」无何，公擢京卿。五十余，每患无孙。女居三年，夜夜与公子异寝，似未尝有所私。夫人舁榻去，嘱公子与妇同寝。过数日，公子告母曰：「借榻去，悍不还！小翠夜夜以足股加腹上，喘气不得；又惯掐人股里。」婢妪无不粲然。夫人呵拍令去。
One day Wang happened to pass by, and the ball came flying and hit him full in the face. The girl and the maids all slipped away, but the young master went on leaping and running after it. Wang, in a rage, threw a stone at him, and only then did he crouch down and cry. Wang told his lady, and she went to scold the girl. The girl hung her head and smiled a little, picking at the bed with her finger. When the lady had gone, she went on romping and playing the fool as before. She painted the young master’s face with rouge and powder until he was as gaudy as a ghost. When Lady Wang saw it she was furious, and called the girl in and railed at her. The girl leaned on the table, playing with her sash; she was not afraid, and said nothing. The lady could do nothing with her, so she took a rod to her son instead. Yuanfeng howled. Only then did the girl’s face change, and she went down on her knees to beg forgiveness. The lady’s anger melted at once; she dropped the rod and left. Laughing, the girl pulled the young master into their room. She brushed the dust off his clothes, wiped away his tears, rubbed the welts from the rod and fed him dates and chestnuts, and the young master stopped crying and was happy again. Then the girl shut the courtyard gate and dressed him up once more, now as the Hegemon King, now as a man from the desert, while she herself put on gorgeous clothes, cinched her slender waist and swayed through the dance before the general’s tent; or she stuck pheasant feathers in her hair and plucked the pipa, plink-plink, on and on, filling the room with noise and laughter. So it went every day. Because his son was a simpleton, Lord Wang could not bear to be hard on the girl, and even when he heard a little of it, he let it pass. In the same lane, a dozen or so gates away, lived a Supervising Secretary Wang, and the two men had never got on. It was the year of the great triennial review of officials, and the Supervising Secretary, jealous that Lord Wang held the seal of the Henan Circuit, was looking for a way to do him harm. Lord Wang knew of his plotting and was anxious, but could think of nothing to do. One evening he went to bed early. The girl put on cap and sash and got herself up as the Minister of Personnel. She cut white silk thread into a bushy moustache, dressed two maids in black as his guards, and slipped out on horses from the stable. “I’m off to call on Mr. Wang,” she said for a joke. She galloped to the Supervising Secretary’s gate, and there she whipped her attendants and said loudly, “It’s Censor Wang I came to call on. What would I want with Secretary Wang?” Then she turned her horse and rode home. When she reached the gate, the gatekeeper took her for the real thing and ran to tell Lord Wang. He hurried out to receive his guest — and found it was his daughter-in-law’s prank. He was furious. “The man is hunting for some flaw in me,” he said to his wife, “and now the scandal of our inner chambers is carried to his door and announced! Disaster cannot be far off!” Lady Wang, enraged, rushed to the girl’s room and berated her. The girl only giggled, and said not a word in her defence. They could not bring themselves to beat her, and if they sent her away, she had no home to go to. Husband and wife fretted and grumbled, and lay awake all night. At that time the Minister of Personnel, a certain lord, was at the height of his power, and his dress, his bearing and his retinue were no different from the girl’s disguise. Supervising Secretary Wang, too, had taken her for the real man. He sent men again and again to watch Lord Wang’s gate, and at midnight the visitor had still not come out, so he suspected that the Minister and Lord Wang were plotting something together. At the morning audience next day he saw Lord Wang and asked, “Did His Excellency call at your house last night?” Lord Wang thought he was mocking him; he flushed with shame and mumbled, hardly answering. The Supervising Secretary grew all the more suspicious. He let his scheme drop, and from then on went out of his way to be friendly. When Lord Wang found out how things stood, he was secretly pleased, but he quietly told his wife to urge the girl to mend her ways. The girl laughed and agreed. A year later the Senior Grand Secretary fell from office. Just then someone sent Lord Wang a private letter, and it was delivered by mistake to the Supervising Secretary. Overjoyed, the Supervising Secretary first sent a friend of Lord Wang’s to ask him for a loan of ten thousand taels. Lord Wang refused. So the Supervising Secretary came to the house himself. Lord Wang looked for his cap and gown and could not find them anywhere. The Supervising Secretary waited a long time, grew angry at the slight, and was about to leave in a temper when he suddenly saw the young master in the dragon robe and tasselled crown of an emperor, pushed out through a doorway by a girl. He was greatly startled. Then he laughed, patted the boy, stripped off the robe and crown and went away with them. When Lord Wang hurried out, his visitor was long gone. Hearing what had happened, he turned the colour of earth and wept aloud. “This girl is a curse on the house!” he cried. “Any day now our whole clan will be put to the sword!” He and his wife took up rods and went after her. The girl already knew. She shut her door and let them rage. Lord Wang, furious, took an axe to the door. From inside, the girl said with a smile, “Don’t trouble yourself to be angry, Father. While your daughter-in-law is here, knife and saw, axe and halberd — I will suffer them myself. I will never let harm come to my parents. If you go on like this, do you mean to kill me to shut my mouth?” Lord Wang stopped. The Supervising Secretary went home and, sure enough, sent up a memorial denouncing Wang for treason, with the robe and crown as proof. The Emperor, alarmed, had them examined: the crown was made of sorghum pith, and the robe was a ragged yellow wrapping cloth. The Emperor was angry at the false charge. He also summoned Yuanfeng, and seeing what an utter simpleton he was, he laughed and said, “Could this one be made an emperor?” And he handed the Supervising Secretary over to the courts. The Supervising Secretary then charged that there was a witch in Lord Wang’s house. The courts questioned the servants closely, and they all said there was nothing of the kind — only a crazy daughter-in-law and a simple son who spent every day in games and laughter. The neighbours said the same. So the case was settled, and the Supervising Secretary was banished to serve as a soldier in Yunnan. From then on Wang thought the girl remarkable. And since her mother had stayed away so long, he suspected she was not human. He had his wife sound her out, but the girl only laughed and said nothing. Pressed further, she covered her mouth and said, “I’m the Jade Emperor’s daughter. Didn’t you know, Mother?” Before long Lord Wang was promoted to a minister’s post in the capital. He was over fifty, and always fretted that he had no grandson. The girl had been with them three years, and every night she slept apart from the young master; it seemed nothing had ever passed between them. Lady Wang had the second bed carried away, and told her son to sleep with his wife. After a few days the young master said to his mother, “You borrowed my bed and now you won’t give it back! Every night Xiaocui puts her legs across my belly and I can’t breathe. And she keeps pinching the insides of my thighs.” Every maid and old nurse burst out laughing. Lady Wang scolded him and shooed him away.