話說竇永衡、周堃二人，氣哼哼來到山下一看，二人趕緊翻身下馬，上前行禮。山下非是別人，正是濟公禪師。二人上前行禮說：「原來是聖僧，你老人家從哪來？」和尚說：「我由臨安城要上江陰縣去。」竇永衡說：「師父，你老人家上山罷！」和尚說：「我不上山，你二人在這山當大王哪？」竇永衡說：「我二人無地可投，暫為借山棲身。」和尚說：「竇永衡你附耳過來，如此這般，這等這樣。」竇永衡點頭答應說：「師父，給你帶點盤費。」和尚說：「我不要，有錢花，我要走了。」和尚告了辭往前走。這天和尚來到江陰縣地面，眼見一座村莊，村口外那裡圍著許多的人。和尚剛來到近前，內中有人說：「和尚來了，我們領教領教和尚吧，大師父請過來！」和尚說：「眾位什麼事？」內中有人說：「我們這座村莊，有七八十戶人家，有三四輩人，沒有一人認字的，都是目不識丁。」大眾說：「這個事真怪，許是我們這座村莊，犯什麼毛病了。請了一位瞧風水的先生一看，他說我們不供文武聖人之過，供奉文武聖人，就有了文風了。我們村莊，公議修了一座廟，是關夫子？孔聖人？我們大家為了難了。有心說是關公廟吧，又有孔聖人，盡說聖人廟，又有關夫子。這個匾沒法起名，和尚你給起個名，大概你必能行。」和尚說：「我給起名就叫忠義祠吧。」大眾一聽說：「好，還是和尚高明。你會寫字，就求你給寫塊匾行不行？」和尚說：「行。」立刻拿了筆來，和尚就寫。寫完了忠義祠的匾，大眾說：「師父你給寫一副對子。」和尚說：「可以。」提筆一揮而就，上聯是
「孔夫子，關夫子，二位夫子。」
下聯是
「作春秋，看春秋，一部春秋。」
大眾一看，書法甚佳，文理兼優，無不齊聲讚美。眾人說：「大師父再求你山門上寫一副對聯。」和尚提筆寫起，山門上寫的是
「天雨雖寬，不潤無根之草；佛門廣大，難度不善之人。」
话说窦永衡、周堃二人，气哼哼来到山下一看，二人赶紧翻身下马，上前行礼。山下非是别人，正是济公禅师。二人上前行礼说：「原来是圣僧，你老人家从哪来？」和尚说：「我由临安城要上江阴县去。」窦永衡说：「师父，你老人家上山罢！」和尚说：「我不上山，你二人在这山当大王哪？」窦永衡说：「我二人无地可投，暂为借山栖身。」和尚说：「窦永衡你附耳过来，如此这般，这等这样。」窦永衡点头答应说：「师父，给你带点盘费。」和尚说：「我不要，有钱花，我要走了。」和尚告了辞往前走。这天和尚来到江阴县地面，眼见一座村庄，村口外那里围着许多的人。和尚刚来到近前，内中有人说：「和尚来了，我们领教领教和尚吧，大师父请过来！」和尚说：「众位什么事？」内中有人说：「我们这座村庄，有七八十户人家，有三四辈人，没有一人认字的，都是目不识丁。」大众说：「这个事真怪，许是我们这座村庄，犯什么毛病了。请了一位瞧风水的先生一看，他说我们不供文武圣人之过，供奉文武圣人，就有了文风了。我们村庄，公议修了一座庙，是关夫子？孔圣人？我们大家为了难了。有心说是关公庙吧，又有孔圣人，尽说圣人庙，又有关夫子。这个匾没法起名，和尚你给起个名，大概你必能行。」和尚说：「我给起名就叫忠义祠吧。」大众一听说：「好，还是和尚高明。你会写字，就求你给写块匾行不行？」和尚说：「行。」立刻拿了笔来，和尚就写。写完了忠义祠的匾，大众说：「师父你给写一副对子。」和尚说：「可以。」提笔一挥而就，上联是
「孔夫子，关夫子，二位夫子。」
下联是
「作春秋，看春秋，一部春秋。」
大众一看，书法甚佳，文理兼优，无不齐声赞美。众人说：「大师父再求你山门上写一副对联。」和尚提笔写起，山门上写的是
「天雨虽宽，不润无根之草；佛门广大，难度不善之人。」
Now, Dou Yongheng and Zhou Kun came down the mountain fuming. But one look, and the two of them leapt from their horses and stepped forward to pay their respects. Who was it at the foot of the mountain? None other than Chan Master Ji Gong. The pair came up and bowed. “So it’s you, holy monk!” they said. “Where have you come from, Master?” “From Lin’an,” said the monk. “I’m on my way to Jiangyin County.” “Master,” said Dou Yongheng, “come on up the mountain!” “I won’t come up,” said the monk. “So you two are playing robber kings on this mountain, are you?” “The two of us had nowhere to turn,” said Dou Yongheng, “so we’ve borrowed the mountain to shelter on for now.” “Dou Yongheng, lend me your ear,” said the monk. “Thus and so, and so and thus.” Dou Yongheng nodded and agreed. “Master,” he said, “take a little money for the road.” “I don’t want it,” said the monk. “I’ve got money to spend. I’ll be off now.” He said his goodbyes and went on his way. One day he came into the territory of Jiangyin County and saw a village ahead, with a great crowd gathered outside the village entrance. He had barely come near when someone in the crowd said, “Here’s a monk. Let’s ask the monk’s advice. Reverend Master, come over here, please!” “What’s the matter, everyone?” said the monk. One of them said, “This village of ours has seventy or eighty households and three or four generations, and not one soul among us can read. We couldn’t tell you the simplest character, any of us.” “It’s a real strange business,” said the crowd. “Maybe something’s wrong with this village of ours. We got a feng shui master to look the place over, and he said it was because we didn’t worship the sages of letters and arms. Worship them, he said, and learning would take root here. So the village talked it over and built a temple. But whose is it — Master Guan’s? Sage Kong’s? That’s what’s got us all stuck. If we want to call it Lord Guan’s Temple, there’s Sage Kong in it too; if we just call it the Sage’s Temple, there’s Master Guan as well. We can’t come up with a name for the board. Monk, you give it a name. You’re bound to be up to it.” “If I’m to name it,” said the monk, “call it the Shrine of Loyalty and Righteousness.” When the crowd heard that they said, “Good! Leave it to a monk to be clever. You can write, so would you write the board for us too?” “All right,” said the monk. At once they fetched a brush, and the monk wrote. When he had finished the board for the Shrine of Loyalty and Righteousness, the crowd said, “Master, write us a couplet.” “Certainly,” said the monk. He took up the brush and dashed it off in one sweep. The first line read:
“Master Kong, Master Guan: two Masters.”
The second line read:
“Wrote the Annals, read the Annals: one Annals.”
The crowd looked: the brushwork was very fine, and the words were apt and well turned. Not one of them failed to join in the praise. “Reverend Master,” they said, “we beg you to write a couplet for the temple gate too.” The monk took up the brush and wrote, and on the gate he wrote:
“Though heaven’s rain falls far and wide,it cannot water grass without roots;though the Buddha’s gate stands open wide,it cannot save a man who will not do good.”
和尚寫完了，眾人說：「這位大師父寫得這么好，你怎么的這樣寒苦？這樣髒呢？」和尚說：「眾位別提了，我是叫媳婦氣的。」大眾說：「怎么叫媳婦氣的？」和尚說：「我娶了個媳婦，過了沒有十天，我媳婦跟人家跑了。我找了半年，把他找回來了。」眾人說：「那就不要他了。」和尚說：「我又要了，跟我在家過了一個多月，他盡招和尚老道往家裡跑。我說他愛和尚，我一氣作了和尚。我媳婦又跟老道跑了，氣得我各處找他，找著我決不能饒他。」眾人說：「你媳婦既跑了，你也就不用找他了，你已然是出了家，就在我們這忠義祠住著罷，我們給你湊幾十畝香火地，有你吃的。你在廟裡教書，給你湊幾個學生，你自己一修行，好不好？」和尚說：「不行，我得找她去。」說著話，和尚一抬頭說：「這可活該，我媳婦來了。」大眾抬頭一看，由對過來了一位道姑，長得芙蓉白臉，面似桃花，手中拿著一個小包裹。
和尚写完了，众人说：「这位大师父写得这么好，你怎么的这样寒苦？这样脏呢？」和尚说：「众位别提了，我是叫媳妇气的。」大众说：「怎么叫媳妇气的？」和尚说：「我娶了个媳妇，过了没有十天，我媳妇跟人家跑了。我找了半年，把他找回来了。」众人说：「那就不要他了。」和尚说：「我又要了，跟我在家过了一个多月，他尽招和尚老道往家里跑。我说他爱和尚，我一气作了和尚。我媳妇又跟老道跑了，气得我各处找他，找着我决不能饶他。」众人说：「你媳妇既跑了，你也就不用找他了，你已然是出了家，就在我们这忠义祠住着罢，我们给你凑几十亩香火地，有你吃的。你在庙里教书，给你凑几个学生，你自己一修行，好不好？」和尚说：「不行，我得找她去。」说着话，和尚一抬头说：「这可活该，我媳妇来了。」大众抬头一看，由对过来了一位道姑，长得芙蓉白脸，面似桃花，手中拿着一个小包裹。
When the monk had finished writing, the crowd said, “A Reverend Master who writes as well as this — how did you end up so poor and wretched? And so filthy?” “Don’t ask, all of you,” said the monk. “It was my wife who drove me to it.” “How did your wife drive you to it?” asked the crowd. “I married a wife,” said the monk, “and before ten days were out she ran off with another man. I hunted for half a year and brought her back.” “Then you should have been done with her,” said the crowd. “But I took her back,” said the monk. “She lived at home with me a month and more, and she was forever having monks and Daoists running in and out of the house. Seeing how she loved monks, I lost my temper and became a monk myself. Then my wife ran off with a Daoist, and I’m so furious I’ve been looking for her everywhere. When I find her I won’t let her off, not for anything.” “Since your wife has run off,” said the crowd, “you needn’t look for her any more. You’ve already left the household life, so just stay on here at our Shrine of Loyalty and Righteousness. We’ll put together a few dozen mu of endowment land for you, and you’ll always have enough to eat. You can teach in the temple — we’ll round up a few pupils for you — and see to your own devotions. How about it?” “No,” said the monk, “I’ve got to find her.” As he spoke, the monk raised his head. “Well, what do you know,” he said. “Here comes my wife!” The crowd looked up and saw a Daoist nun coming toward them from across the way. Her face was fair as a hibiscus flower, her cheeks like peach blossom, and she had a small bundle in her hand.
和尚過去，一把手將道姑揪住，說：「好東西，你跟老道跑了，你當了道姑了？我娶了你，不跟我過日子，我找你這些日子，今日可碰見你了。」道姑說：「喲，你們眾位快給勸勸，我本是自幼出家，這也並沒有男人，和尚是瘋子，他滿嘴胡說。」眾人就趕過來勸解，說：「倒說說是怎么一段事？」和尚說：「他是我媳婦，他跟老道跑了，他當了道姑了。」道姑說：「你們眾位聽和尚他是哪處口音？我是哪處口音？和尚他是瘋子。」眾人過來說：「和尚一撒手，叫他去吧。」和尚說：「不行。」大眾好容易把和尚拉開，道姑竟自去了。和尚說：「你們大眾把我給媳婦放走了，你們就要賠我媳婦。」
和尚过去，一把手将道姑揪住，说：「好东西，你跟老道跑了，你当了道姑了？我娶了你，不跟我过日子，我找你这些日子，今日可碰见你了。」道姑说：「哟，你们众位快给劝劝，我本是自幼出家，这也并没有男人，和尚是疯子，他满嘴胡说。」众人就赶过来劝解，说：「倒说说是怎么一段事？」和尚说：「他是我媳妇，他跟老道跑了，他当了道姑了。」道姑说：「你们众位听和尚他是哪处口音？我是哪处口音？和尚他是疯子。」众人过来说：「和尚一撒手，叫他去吧。」和尚说：「不行。」大众好容易把和尚拉开，道姑竟自去了。和尚说：「你们大众把我给媳妇放走了，你们就要赔我媳妇。」
The monk went over and seized the Daoist nun with one hand. “You fine piece of work!” he said. “You ran off with a Daoist and turned Daoist nun, did you? I married you, and you wouldn’t keep house with me. All these days I’ve been hunting for you, and today I’ve run into you at last.” “Oh my!” said the nun. “All of you, quick, talk some sense into him! I’ve been a nun since I was a little girl, and I’ve never had a husband. This monk is a madman. Everything out of his mouth is nonsense.” The crowd hurried over to make peace. “Tell us, then, what’s this all about?” “She’s my wife,” said the monk. “She ran off with a Daoist and became a Daoist nun.” “All of you, listen,” said the nun. “Where is the monk’s accent from? And where is mine from? The monk is a madman.” The crowd came over and said, “Monk, let go of her. Let her go.” “No,” said the monk. It was all the crowd could do to pull the monk off her, and the nun went on her way. “You lot have let my wife get away from me,” said the monk. “Now you’ll have to pay me for a wife.”